Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 3 August 2007

image for Big Brother Tracey Thinks Big Brother Is Great (In So Many Words)
Well'ard putting her feet up

Big Brother housemate, social theoriser and modern philosopher Tracey Well'ard, last night spoke about her plans after her time in the show is over.

Now living next door in the Halfway House, Tracey, who also finds time to scrub floors and empty bins, told viewers via the Diary Room of her intention to publish her very own Dictionary of Modern Streetspeak, in which she is fluent.

The 37-year-old domestic cleansing operative has baffled audiences with her inane utterings and mutterings, and other housemates, too, have struggled to comprehend the banal volleys of tripe she sometimes delivers from underneath her pink mop.

TheSpoof has managed to obtain a sneak preview of some of the more well-known of these terms, and is happy to reproduce them here regardless of copyright issues.

(Streetspeak) Keep it real
(English) Be realistic(?)

(Streetspeak) Deal wivit!
(English) That's the way it is

(Streetspeak) Tip Top
(English) Great

(Streetspeak) Well'ard
(English) Great

(Streetspeak) Proppa
(English) Great

(Streetspeak) Sketchy
(English) Not great

(Streetspeak) Bring it on!
(English) Possibly great, but not necessarily so: a preliminary analysis is required

Miss Well'ard has already spoken to publishers who have, in no uncertain terms, told her to go away, and she now plans to work many hours of overtime to raise the capital needed to put the dictionary on bookshop shelves.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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