Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Kate Moss

Tuesday, 31 July 2007

image for Cracks appear as Moss wavers over Doherty pleas
Shagging Ronnie Wood senseless has helped stengthen Moss's resolve

Kingston, Surrey - (Ass Mess): Refreshed from a long weekend of shagging Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood senseless in his palatial Surrey hideyhole model Kate Moss emerged into the sunlight today, resolving to resist ex-lover Pete Doherty's pitiful pleas to be taken back,

But no sooner was she back behind the wheel of her sleek black Mercedes CLK 63 AMG Cabriolet that the crack started to show as Doherty called her repeatedly, begging to be allowed back inside her supple fold.

Doherty has just completed a five day stint at the Toxic Rockers Rehab in Bridlington, Yorkshire where detox medics told him that the cocaine had begun to seriously reject his body.

Vowing to stick to an austerity abstinence program Doherty told shrinks he felt ready to become clean and serene if only he could win back Kate, the lover of his life and mother of his as yet unfertilised spawn.

Meanwhile back in London Moss told mates at Camden Lock's Whorely Arms that she was almost begining to crack under the pressure despite having vowed never to see the lying, cheating scumbag toerag ever again.

Three pints of Jack Daniels and four grams of coke later Moss said she felt strengthened in her resolve that the romance was over.

And as if to spell it out to the entire world Moss then pumped twenty quid into the Whorely's jukebox to play Edith Piaf's "No Regrets" continuously until throwing out time sometime after midnight.

Pete Doherty is 29.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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