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Sunday, 29 July 2007

image for Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan Seek Vagina Monologue While Sharing Jail Cell
Lindsay and Nicole want to share a cell

Nicole Richie is awaiting a short prison sentence for DWI. Lindsay Lohan is awaiting a couple of court dates for multiple DWI's and posession of cocaine (whether or not she was in someone else's pants). The two Hollywood starlets have petitioned Judge Judy to allow them to serve their sentences together and be cell mates.

Said Lohan, "Nicole is so much more experienced than I am. I mean, she's pregnant and all and so knows how to get knocked up by some guy. She's spent a lot of time around Paris Hilton and lived the party girl life so much longer than me. I can learn so much. I've seen those women in prison movies, and I want to be her bitch."

In response, Richie said, "Lindsay is so young and vibrant. She may be the hottest skank out there right now, and she does it all without being anorexic! There are things that she can teach me too! I'd be proud to have her as my bitch."

When asked about their request and told of their situation, Britney Spears said something unintelligible, grabbed a stack of clothes, and left.

In an interview, Paris Hilton was supportive of the decision of Richie and Lohan. "I taught Britney so much, and look where she is today. The whole world has seen her goodies and she's a drugged out, rich zombie! I'm sure these two will have a great vagina monologue while together in prison. There are so many fun things that they can do in there!"

Upon learning that Judge Judy did not have any jurisdiction in the case, Richie responded by asking "what about Wapner?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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