Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 26 July 2007

image for Big Brother House To Take In Flood Victims
Day 58: Gloucester is flooded!

DAY 58: Channel 4 last night announced that it is to help with the flooding crisis sweeping Britain at the moment, by allowing six newly-made-homeless people enter the Big Brother House on Friday evening.

The six, all from Gloucester, lost their homes when the River Avon burst its banks and swamped the town last week, spewing sewage, filth and other people's dirty washing into their living rooms.

Many of Gloucester's residents have been without essential services including drinking water since the weekend. All the new housemates are grimy and parched.

As stated in the children's nursery rhyme, most people in Gloucester are doctors, and these six are no exception. The group includes no less than four psychologists invited onto the show to closely examine Charley, Chanelle and Tracey Well'ard, the estranged sister of Hollywood superstar Robert De Niro.

Should Charley be evicted on Friday, the doctors will concentrate most of their efforts on demented Chanelle, who needs all the help she can get.

The identities of the six are being closely-guarded, but all of them are thought to be eminent in their fields. Fans of the show said on the Big Brother's Big Mouth show last night though, that they would be no match for the psychologically astute and calculating crop of knuckleheads currently in the House.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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