Written by Jean Le Fete
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Thursday, 26 July 2007

image for Lindsay Lohan, "I'm An Innocent Victim!" Paris Hilton responds, "Yeah right!"
"I was told it was powdered Coca-Cola"

Lindsay Lohan has been caught again, this time after a second stint of rehab. Lohan was allegedly arrested for cocaine possession and DUI, but she has strongly proclaimed her innocence. "I strongly proclaim my innocence," said Lohan, "I was told the powder was a drink mix, I've never heard of cocaine before."

Lohan also tested positive for blood alcohol content above 0.5. However, she claims that she wasn't actually driving the car at the time police stopped her, "My Mercedes has auto-pilot."

Paris Hilton was quick to criticize Lohan's claims of innocence, "Oh please, this child actress has no credibility. She deserves to do hard time like I did! (less than 30 days). My advice to her is to come clean and get ready for at least 10 strip searches daily."

Hilton was also upset at the recent trend of "look a-like" rich girls in trouble, "First it was Britney Spears and now Lindsay Lohan, I mean these babies are trying to crowd in on my turf. If they really want to make a go of it, they need to get real and do the time behind bars. Then they'll see its no laughing matter. Its not easy to throw your life away. You have to work at it!"

Lohan may get her chance, California laws are strict regarding DUI and Paris Hilton's case has made it "okay" for judges to be tough on starlets.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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