Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 26 July 2007

image for Lindsay Lohan Says Cocaine Was Not Mine To Police
A tearful Lindsay said that this was not her bag of drugs

Lindsay Lohan, stopped for a D.W.I. and for chasing another car, denied that the baggie of cocaine found in her pants pocket belonged to her. "The coke wasn't mine," said a tearful starlet to investigating officers. "I'm not sure how it got into the pocket of the pants I was wearing."

Lindsay further stated that "this cocaine was in one of those yellow and blue make green ziploc bags. I always keep mine in one of the Glad One-Zips. It's the wrong kind of bag, see!"

When asked how the drugs could have gotten into her pants, she answered that "they're not even my pants. When I woke up after the party in the motel room with everyone, I just picked up a pair that fit and put them on. I can prove they're not mine because these also had a French Tickler in the pocket and I only let my guys use the bubble gum flavored ones."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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