Written by Robert W. Armijo
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

image for Lindsay Lohan falls off the wagon and jumps behind the wheel; arrested two blocks away from the Santa Monica Police Dept.
Lohan crossed the (cocaine) line but she could not walk it with a .12 to .13 blood alcohol level

Santa Monica, California - Lindsay Lohan, who was just released form rehab two weeks ago, was shortly arrested thereafter just two blocks away of the Santa Monica Police Department last night.

Reportedly, the police received a frantic 911 call from the mother of her Lohan's young personal assistant who had just quit. Police arrived to find Lohan apparently driving under the influence of alcohol and in possession of cocaine, apparently legal in California if used for medicinal purposes by young movie stars and the children of politicians.

Authorities are encouraged, however, that Lohan is showing signs of improvement by cooperation with them by allowing herself to be arrested closer and closer to police stations each time.

"It's a good sign," said Sergeant Michael Gomez of the Santa Monica Police Department. "We fully expect that the next time she drives under the influence, she will make all the way to the police department's front door."

A spokesman for Lohan denies she is doing it deliberately trying to get a time served credit or leniencies come sentencing time.

After she was booked, cited and posted bail she was released to immediately start working on her next arrest.

"We will probably see her this weekend," said Sergeant Gomez. "No. Wait. I'm sorry. I'll be off. It's time to give some of the new recruits some experience in arresting a movie star this weekend."

Both Lindsay Lohan and Mel Gibson provide the Santa Monica Police Department with a valuable service, helping to train new recruits by allowing themselves to be arrested on such a regular bases.

Between the two of them, it is reported they are responsible for training over two-thirds of the police department so far.

Make Robert W. Armijo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 1?

7 16 1 25

Go to top