Written by Buck E Filbert
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Topics: Lindsay Lohan

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

image for Lindsay Lohan, Naked in Latest Arrest, Tried Propositioning Police
These girls are naked too

Lindsay Lohan's latest rampage ended in an arrest yesterday. It seems Lohan was chasing the mother of her assistant that she fired earlier that day. Lohan chased the mother into a empty parking lot one block from the Santa Monica police station at 1;30 am, the mother called the police 911 fearing for her safety.

The reason Lohan was chasing her assistants mother was not immediately clear but then again what is with Lohan and her behavior.

America's fallen sweetheart, was arrested for the second time in as many months on DUI charges, driving on a suspended license and suspicion of possession of a controlled substance. If nothing else, Lohan is consistent.

Lindsay should get a refund for the cost of the rehab she just left a few days ago. Apparently rehab brainwashing didn't take because she is already partying again. Besides as everyone knows, rehab is for quitters.

Sources close to Lindsay said, "she was doing so good until she wasn't, then it all went to hell. Lindsay is a very competitive person and she isn't going to stand still for Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie getting all the attention with their legal grandstanding."

A Santa Monica police officer said, "we could have overlooked the cocaine, DUI, and suspension but when Lohan started propositioning us, that was the last straw. She was batting her eyes at us and making suggestive undulating movements with her hips while taking the sobriety test. I mean that girl was totally naked under her clothes, we found that very disturbing."

Yes, after extensive examination it was determined, Lohan was totally, shamelessly, naked under her clothes and that fact was the deciding factor police used to incarcerate her.

A Santa Monica police spokesperson said, we're a beach community police department and our officers are use to women being shamelessly naked under their clothes but Lindsay Lohan was busting out of her clothes uncontrollably, she's way more naked than most offenders so it was decided she should be arrested.


From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
07/25/07

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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