Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Lindsay Lohan

Friday, 20 July 2007

image for Lindsay Lohan: I just know Sherrif Lee Baca loves me as much as Paris!
Baca loves me every bit as much as Paris, says Lohan in expectation of a 'compassionate' outcome of her DUI indictment

Beverly Hills - (Ass mess): Mean Girls star Lindsay Lohan has told friends that she knows that LA Sherrif's Department boss Sherrif Lee Baca "is an absolute s-w-e-e-t-i-e and loves me every bit as much as Paris Hilton."

Lohan's remarks come in the wake of her formal DUI indictment yesterday in connection with her May car crash when LAPD officers found cocaine in her Mercedes after she crashed it following a Sunset Boulevard speeding spree.

Baca famously let Paris Hilton off her 23 day jail sentence after she batted her eyelashes at him in June and said pretty, pretty please get me out of this horrible jail.

A subsequent trip back to the LA District Court saw Baca's 'totally altruistic and humanitarian-inspired gesture' overturned and Hilton readmitted to the nuthouse section of the Lynwood Women's Correctional Facility.

Yesterday Lohan was formally arrested wearing her rehab-imposed alcohol-detector ankle bracelet. She made bail at $30,000 ahead of a court date scheduled for August 24.

Lohan's remarks about Baca follow widespread criticism in Los Angeles of his special treatment of nubile Hollywood starlets whose parents made campaign contributions in excess pf $1,000 to his election war chest in 2006.

Lohan's lawyers said today that Baca was a "towering figure of compassionate policing" and would make a "superb" Governor of California when Arnold Schwarzenegger eventually retires.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 1?

4 2 1 15

Go to top