Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Tom Cruise, Nazi

Thursday, 19 July 2007

image for Tom Cruise back in Nazi uniform
Plenty of this sort of stuff in Cruise's new movie

Berlin, Germany - (Associated Messerschmitts): It's taken a lot of effort to keep him from outing himself in public. And today Tom Cruise finally cracked and donned his beloved Nazi uniform so he could strut around pretending to be Count Claus von Stauffenberg, the SS aristo grandfather he has kept quiet about until this week's movie shoot in Berlin.

The film, Valkyrie, stars Cruise in the role of the officer who allegedly plotted in 1944 to assassinate Hilter.

Cruise looked relaxed and triumphant as he constantly glanced in the on-set mirror at his khaki behind and the gleaming swastikas on his epaulets.

"This is his favorite weekend dressing up gear!" an insider source confide today as the movie actor strolled around the set, barking ineffable Teutonic commands in stilted German and looking every inch the born-again Reichsmeister.

Earlier this month the movie producers were banned from shooting in Berlin because the German government said they were deply offende by Cruise's Scientology affiliations.

A big row developed and blew up with the German Defence Minister Franz-Josef Jung ordering that Cruise should not be allowed to film in the actual inner courtyard of the Defence Ministry building where von Stauffenberg was shot dead "because it would help to glorify his heinous Scientological cult".

"Besides," Jung continued, "we're really pised off that
von Stauffenberg's grandson, masquarading as Cruise, thinks he can come and lecture us about the 'good Nazis'.

"He might think we don't know about his lineage. But just because we are saying nothing doesn't mean we won't out him when his stoopid movie premieres in the USA.

"Then we get the little focher!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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