Hollywood, CA -- Critical analysis of Mel Gibson's new controversial movie has revealed subliminal images and messages peppered throughout the flick. And they're not designed to influence your snack purchase or next movie choice, they're devised to create fear and hatred of the Jewish race, as well as the Atkins diet.
The outlawed technique involves placing a single frame of an image, like maybe one of Courtney Love's face, somewhere in the movie. The brain picks up the image and places it deep within one's subconscious which causes changes in behavioral patterns -- like going from pruning one's garden to eliminating an entire race of people.
Gibson, a virtual descendant of Hitler himself, has denied the charges saying, "That's just a bunch of slanderish Hollywood trash -- which is under complete control of those money grubbing Jews, by the way."
His good friend (and maybe half-brother), the Governator of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, backs up the denial and pledges to stand by the producer/director both financially and philosophically. President Bush (another relative of the two somehow) claimed to receive good vibes from the propaganda... err... um... film as well.
But observations paint a very different and disturbing picture of the situation. Those who saw an advanced screening have been seen conducting themselves in behavior outside their normal routine. The most notable is that the Pope has started construction of a train depot right outside the Vatican, and has also ordered a thousand german shepherds for no apparent reason.
"What can I say, I like mass transportation and dogs. Ungh-burp. Hey, my shoes need cleaning," he said speaking in Latin, English and a third undecipherable tongue.
Camp David has seen construction of a large furnace with a four-story smoke stack, as well as a ten-foot wall of electrified barbed-wire around its perimeter. Bush claims that the fence is to keep in his flock of Texas-bred emu while the furnace is to cook them on special occasions -- like Christmas, Easter and April 20th.
There are no comments on the film from Jewish persons because none could be found.
And French citizens stood in the streets today and wept as Gibson and crew triumphantly entered Paris under the Arch de Triumph to start on-location shooting of the film's sequel allegedly entitled Passion II: The Blitzkrieg - Walk Towards The Lightening.