Written by EddyShergar
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Topics: Monkey

Friday, 13 July 2007

image for Dancing Gibbon "Work of the Devil!"

Dingus the dancing gibbon - he's the latest showbiz sensation and media darling, but Dingus's dancing antics have not gone down well with certain sections of the religious community!

Father J.P Mc'O'Flaherty from the sleepy village of Spocks Beard ranted yesterday "Dingus is the work of the Devil!"

"Simply put, Gibbons, by their nature, do not dance! Such an abomination is an affront to the lord almighty and I will not stand for it."

"Jesus did not die on the cross so that a Gibbon could perform amusing jigs and reels!"

"If I have to kill Dingus and every other Gibbon to appease my god and save the world from Satan, so help me I will" he frothed, before being sedated and led away into a nearby ambulance.

When asked how Dingus had come into possesion of such smooth dance moves his owner, Cedric Marmoset, told us "It's very simple. Dingus has been trained with much love and care over a number of years."

"Before each performance we ask him nicely if he would care to dance, and promise him a shiny new banana once he's finished."

"Failing that, we send an electric shock into electrodes implanted in his rectum - that usually gets the little swine moving"

Unusually, animal rights campaigners had little or no comment to make. The RSPCA told us "yes it's cruel, but he's so cute when he's dancing so I guess its ok".

The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dancing Monkeys said "Normally I would whip up a media frenzy, but I'm too transfixed by his soft-shoe shuffle to care"

Rival, Edwardo the Leaping Lemur's spokesman said last night "mmm, yes, I'm sure he's very talented, but can he moonwalk?".

Rumours that Abba were to reform and re-record a new version of their hit "Dancing Queen", renamed "Dancing Gibbon" after Dingus were proved to be untrue yesterday when their spokesman told us to "sod off"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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