Written by Doppelbock
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Friday, 13 July 2007

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Donnie Osmond, following surgical separation from Marie. With a laughable hairdo, too. He looks like a brown Q-tip, WTF??

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH (AP Newsliar) -- Doctors at the Latter Day Saints Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah have been successful in their efforts to surgically separate the careers of Donnie and Marie Osmond.

It took a team of over 30 surgeons, nurses, PR specialists, and talent agents working at LDS Hospital over 34 hours to separate the conjoined careers of the former pop duo. The siblings were joined at the teeth and also shared a personal branding gland.

Surgery was an imperative because their conjoined careers were rejecting each other; Marie is a little bit country, whereas brother Donnie is a little bit rock and roll. The surgical team reports that following the successful surgery, Donnie will be able to go on to hosting game shows, racing cars, and the like, and Marie will be free to do whatever it is she is doing these days.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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