Written by Buck E Filbert
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Tuesday, 10 July 2007

image for Nicole Richie Tries Pregnancy to Avoid Prosecution
Nicole has a court strategy

In a desperate move Nicole Richie has opted for getting knocked up to try and tickle the sensibilities of the judge hearing her drunk driving/under the influence case, today.

Richie has pleaded, not guilty, to DUI despite the fact she was stopped going north bound on a south bound lane of a Los Angeles freeway. Richie admitted to police she had been smoking weed and taking pain killers.

Richie already has a previous DUI conviction and if she's convicted of DUI again it's a mandatory sentence of 90 days to one year in jail.

After seeing what happened to Paris Hilton recently Nicole realized their little circle of friends was not impervious to prosecution. If they can throw Paris in the can what will they do to me? Nicole wondered.

Insiders say Nicole realizes she's nowhere near as popular as Paris and the judicial system is purposely targeting celebutants and personalities for lengthy jail stays just to prove the system is just and fair. Reverse sentencing is the latest, greatest thing for judges, a public figure, lets string em up to prove we prosecute equally.

Nicole got a delayed court date just so she could work at becoming pregnant for her, day in fron of the judge. Well, she succeeded, now lets see if it works. A pregnant Nicole in jail, that's what everyone wants to see.

If the baby comes in at 9 pounds it'll weigh more than the Mom.


From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
07/10/07

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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