Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 9 July 2007

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Aiken's armrest incident grounded an airplane

American Idol's second season runner-up Clay Aiken is being investigated by the FBI due to an incident on an airline. Aiken was traveling to a concert and was stuck in coach when he got into an arguement with a woman over an armrest.

The altercation forced the plane to land in a different city and both parties were removed for interrogation. As Aiken was being led down the jetway in handcuffs, he screamed at passengers preparing to board other airlines "I never said I was gay. They're just doing this to me because of the whole J. Edgar Hoover thing!"

Rosie O'Donnell was quick to come to Clay's rescue. "They just arrested him because they thought he was wearing a teddy. They wouldn't have arrested anyone else over this. Why shouldn't he be able to put his feet on someone's armrest? Are you denying him that right because you think he's gay?"

Rumors have surrounded the pop star about his alleged sexual orientation for many years. He has still never come out and admitted whether or not he was gay or straight and has no known boyfriends or girlfriends.

The other passenger, a woman who was not identified, said "armrests are for arms and elbows. They are not for smelly feet in old nike tennis shoes. If he wants to try to do the Lotus position in his chair, he's going to have to buy the seat next to him also."

Ruben Studddard, who beat Aiken out that year for the American Idol crown, looked at the question in a different light. "Why is he flying coach? Why ain't he in first class? If he needs some money, I can send him some."

After his release, Aiken thank Studdard for the offer, but said, "If I need some money, I can just sell some of my stock in Victoria's Secret."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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