Written by ranger121
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Monday, 9 July 2007

image for Madonna, Kylie in ebay virginity frenzy

Sensationally, both Madonna's and Kylie's virginity were found for sale on ebay today.

Both were presumed to be lost, but it turns out they had been sold to private bidders sometime in the 1980s. Kylie's virginity is particularly valuable, as is it understood it was sold whilst she was 15, and is known to be less used than Madonna's.

Madonna has, of course, sung a song about her past, called "Like A Virgin" and although some commentators have presumed the first verse, which goes: "I made it through the wilderness. Somehow I made it through. Didn't know how lost I was, until I found you." Was about her losing her virginity and then having found it again, this has now been proven a lie.

Madonna's husband is known to be one of the primary bidders on the ebay auction, and has stated he will go as high as 90 million dollars US to get it back.

Kylie's agent and a certain Jason Donovan are both in the race for her virginity, even though Jason Donovan was assumed to have been the one who took it in the first place, although a minor extra at the "Neighbours" set was at first suspected.

What the two will do when they both become virgins again is not known, although Kylie's somewhat flagging career could get a boost from the resulting publicity. A live TV "Losing it" show has been called for by many of her male fans, but it is not known who the lucky bloke could be; there are several contenders, and a jackpot draw attached to the National Lottery has not been ruled out.

Madonna has stated that a new "Virgin Again" tour is definitely being planned.

Local MP Sir Init Forthemoney denied that he had the two items for sale.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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