Hollywood, CA (IP) - Collecting and briefly displaying small African children on TV talk shows has become the latest Rock Stars and Hollywood Status symbols among skanky movie star bimbos.
This latest fad is threatening to knock anorexia, bulimia, attention deficit disorder, and needless, wasteful, and dangerous plastic surgery out of first place. Not to mention the use of Xanax, vicodin, cociane, pot, and smack.
The children are put aboard Gulfstream V jets outfitted with extra fuel tanks and whisked out of the dark continent in the middle of the night. Flights from China and Cuba also bring cute little children to be adopted in America as well as coolers filled with body parts used for organ transplants in America.
The most sought after body parts are kidneys and livers desperately needed by movie stars and rock stars who have burned out their own blood filtering organs from too much partying. These organs are removed from political and economic prisoners before they are executed for their petty crimes in China and Cuba and fetch six or seven figures in American dollars.
The children are quickly cleaned up and clothed in glittering garments and are paraded before the cameras for all to see what a wonderful, caring, decent, and politically correct character these Hollywood stars really are underneath all of that plastic and silicon which now passes for epidermis.
These kids are quickly assigned pseudo-African sounding names like Robitusin, Latreena, Eskalade, Neequeesha, Darius, Lawyer, Priest, Tyrone, Shuumlakalaka, Mackaleekayleekaymacka, Keyshawn, Dante, etc... The children often seem dazed and confused and disoriented before the bright lights and cameras. It is reported that they often vomit out the Big Maks and Wapper sandwiches that are force fed to them in an effort to fatten them up a little bit.
In the past, Hollywood types were content to display the heads of elephants, rhinos, giraffes, and hippos from their walls. This was very lucrative for the Bwanas they hired to guide them in their endeavors as well as their porters. Also popular were fish mounts and butterfly collections. Killing animals has become politically incorrect and the focus of Hollywood stars has turned to collecting small children instead. Movie stars have a short attention span and some fear that as interest in these children inevitably wanes that the children will soon be discarded and sent off to be cared by nannies, boarding schools, reformatories, prison, and the armed forces. Some may even go on to become Republicans.