The Spice Girls have all signed a contract from getting pregnant or having babies. While most entertainment insiders believe that this is only throught the conclusion of their re-union tour, this publication has learned that this is to be a lifetime agreement.
Multiple reasons surround this new pact:
- These girls are just too stupid to bring any more mentally handicapped children into the world.
- Does anyone really want to have sex with Sporty? Is there a man that desperate anywhere?
- Eddie Murphy is tired of paternity suits and negative publicity?
- Should Baby really have a baby?
- Can you really imagine these women remembering to feed, bathe, and diaper and not getting grossed out by "poopie in the Pampers?"
While the girls will be allowed to continue their sexual activity (all but Sporty), they will all have their tubes tied before the tour.
When told that they would never have to worry about being "late" anymore, the girls celebrated with an all night party with the Los Angeles Dodgers.