JK Rowling today announced details of her upcoming "Harry Potter" book. She suggested, of course, that the book would be the "best yet", a claim she knew could become true once she had decided to turn our beloved do-gooder wizard, gay.
"Potter's sexuality was always in question for me. I mean what sort of man talks to animals, hangs out all the time with Hermione but makes no advances, and constantly minces around in a long black cape?" This piece of creative writing genius by Rowling will clearly open the fan base of Potter to the gay market. "How could you be against Harry coming out of the closet? Only a gay basher would find such a thing offensive."
Since the announcement, rumours have abounded that Potter will fall head over heels for arch-rival Malfoy, who for years has battled with his own feelings for Potter. It is said that Malfoy's hatred stems from a peer-pressure related denial of his secret Potter lust.