Written by Johnny Moodis
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Topics: fans, huge

Sunday, 15 February 2004

image for Corey Haim Primed for HUGE Comeback
Stay clear of the oncoming freight train that is Corey Haim's career!

Corey Haim, star of such blockbusters as Demolition High and The Double 0 Kid announced today that he is finally ready to return to the silver screen and please his legions of fans.

"I figured it was finally time to come out of the shadows and give the public what they so richly deserve, my face." Haim said.

Haim finally made light of the secretive movie he is currently shooting, Dream of a Little Place Called Portland Destroyed by the Robot Bear, in which he plays a janitor that discovers an evil plot by an evil scientist that works at the laboratory where he sweeps up.

"It's such a powerful role," Haim beams. "My character uncovers the secret, and uses the detective skills he learned as a janitor to defeat the giant robot bear the evil scientist made at the lab in Portland."

According to Haim, no expense was spared by Screaming Goat Productions on the making of the movie.

"This movie was filmed entirely in Portland." Haim screamed. "YOU REALLY GET THAT PORTLAND VIBE!"

Hollywood box office estimators believe that the film will make anywhere from $3000 to $7000 in its 15 theater run.

"This is it." Haim belched. "Corey Haim is back. No prisoners will be taken, but all canned goods will be taken ... please, dear God, I'm so hungry!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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