MAUI (Hawaii) -- Paris "Paparazzi" Hilton is in Maui scouting sites for her halfway house. However she took time out to don a bikini and do herself a baptism in the surf.
"It's - That's Hot," she shouted to 47 digital cameras. And then, the all too familiar - "Attica! Attica! - One toilet roll a month!"
When her mother found out about this from her people who have people, she yiked! "Is Paris Burning? I just hope she is wearing her Banana Boat +30SP. I'll send her a blueberry message."
Police have had to enforce a No-Parking Zone around Paris, says Steve McGarrett of Hawaii 5-0. Any violation and it's "Book 'em, Danno!" he said, from the top balcony of the Ilikai Hotel.
The new century's answer to Where's Waldo later took a much needed retail therapy stroll with latest gal-pal Ashley Scott. ("Jericho" TV-Series 2006- ) Possible co-star potential?
Paris is currently reading scripts for her big break into the film industry. Currently under consideration are remakes of the following classic titles:
- Where The Boys Are;
Beach, Bongo, Under A Blanket;
and the cult classic, Lesbo She Devils Of Planet Zus.
Hey, it's been a slow paradise, Hawaiian style day ..
However, as a lazy, hazy fly runs circles in the sky around my sweat riddled brow, I can't help but worry that Paris is flouting the request that she must not leave LA without reporting to her probation officer.
Oh, what the hell, "Mai Tai Pleeeease!"