Written by ChillerBaggins
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Saturday, 30 June 2007

image for Nicole Richie Off Her Tahitian Noni Juice

BREAKING NEWS (Exclusive Gossip) - "I need to knock out a kid real fast." said Nicole "Wrong Way - Go Back" Richie. "Judges don't like to put little mommies in prison, do they?"

Well, not unless they are Ma Barker!

"Wrong Way - Go Back" Richie, who appears to have stopped her Tahitian Noni Juice intake, which provides increased mental clarity, increased attention span, and greater physical performance levels, may or may not be knocked up.

"Would a virgin pregnancy be best?" she asked. "If not, it's him," pointing to 'Good Charlotte' coolguy with tattoos, guyliner make-up and brass knuckle necklace.

Earlier, at the Richie home, during which Lionel sternly explained to coolguy that "no one's gonna turn my baby girl into an unwed baby mama, especially not some b*tch-ass punk from the mall" while polishing his handgun.

"She's shopping around for a wedding dress," a loose-lipped Sizzler Steak House informant reveals. "She's calling around looking for a dress, not with candy-stripes though."

If she beats the rap for driving offenses, she can always ditch the guy, but what do you do with the kid?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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