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Thursday, 28 June 2007

image for Spice Girls To Reunite
Fat Ginger Spice's Trademark Dress

1990s common-as-muck Pop Slags, the Spice Girls have announced that they plan to reunite later this year. The "ladies" will announce a number of gigs throughout the UK sometime this week.

Victoria Beckham, Melanie Chisholm, Geri Halliwell, Emma Bunton and Melanie Brown formed The Spice Girls in 1994, before eventually splitting in 2001. Better known by their hilarious nicknames; Painfully Thin Spice, Chav Skag Addict Spice, Fat Ginger Spice, Acts Like A Child With ADS Spice, and Old Spice, respectively.

The reunion will be the first time all five girls have been together since Geri left the group to pursue a solo career in 1998.

Mel B, who has initially opposed a reunion, recently revealed she had changed her mind. She said: "For the first time ever, there is some truth in the rumours. We've been discussing it and it could possibly happen."

Melanie C added "Plus we're all skint and me mother needs an operation."

The girls have all enjoyed solo success of varying degrees since the split, and have all had their fair share in the media spotlight. Skeleton wrapped in skin, Victoria Beckham (Posh) is famously married to footballer David Beckham who has recently signed for LA Galaxy.

When asked about David's new transfer she replied "It's a real tattoo!"

Melanie Brown (Scary) has recently hit the headlines after having a child with 1980s stereotypical "loose cannon" black cop, Axel Foley, also known as the Donkey from Shrek. Geri Haliwell (Ginger) has had links with Robbie Williams, and was once in UK smut mag, Razzle, with her jugs out before they went up and down five cup sizes in no particular order. Melanie C (Sporty) still looks like a heroin addict who lives on a council estate, and is still wearing her trademark Kappa jacket and clown necklace from Argos. And Emma B (Baby) hasn't done anything at all really.

The "girls" claim the reunion will be a final farewell, and a massive thanks to all the fans. Concert halls up and down the UK are looking forward to a sell-out crowd of gay men, and pre-pubescent teens.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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