An emergency summit was called by theologians, philosophers, media watch dogs, political campaigners and clergy persons to try and figure out this whole Paris Hilton phenomenon. There just seems to be no earthly explanation to this Paris fervor. So they convened to deliberate on the matter.
The tribunal surmised that there is just no reason why Paris Hilton causes such a stir in our society. There are much prettier girls, girls with more money, girls with better bodies, girls that are more intelligent, girls that contribute to society, so why all the hoopla and outrageous popularity?
After much soul searching and introspection the committee has come to the conclusion Paris Hilton has sold her soul to the devil, she's in league with Lucipher himself, married to the ultimate evil one, Satan. There is just no other reasonable conclusion. We can't figure any way anyone could reach this height without undevine intervention.
Larry King confronted Paris about the rumors and she freely admitted to signing on the dotted line, Paris said, How else do you think I get so much attention, it's not normal and there's a reason for that, Satan is an excellent press agent."
The four star committee is recommending to the church fathers a course of action that has not been exercised for hundreds of years. They recommend Paris be tied to a steak and be burnt to death.
Reaction from Paris lovers and haters alike has been negative, one Paris hater said, hey, if I never hear anything more about Paris Hilton it would be too soon, but I think this solution is a little over the top."
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert