Written by Shinny
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Tuesday, 26 June 2007

image for Prehistoric Penguin To P-P-P-Pick Up Paris
P-p-p-aris Hilton

Scientists have discovered the remains of a prehistoric penguin, some 5 feet in height, dating back some 35million years.

Never one to miss a publicity stunt opportunity, Kathy and Rick Hilton have purchased the beast, and plan to bring it back to life using Voodoo and have it collect their daughter from jail later today "in spectacular fashion."

Paris, who while in detention is only allowed three magazines and three books a week, is unaware of the stunt. She's reportedly reading The Secret, The Power of Now, and the Bible, and has a Pingu bookmark separating pages 3 and 4 of each publication.

She says she has a spiritual advisor and has apparently found God. Paris harbours a secret passion for the hilarious, waddling black and white birds, and once told ITV "They look like cute little waiters with beaks."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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