Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 23 June 2007

image for Big Brother Seany Leaves In A Flood Of Tears
A Sneaky One leaves the House

Irishman Seany O'Kane last night became the second housemate to be evicted by the general public from Channel 4's Big Brother show.

Curly-haired charity case Seany, 25, whose full name is an anagram of A Sneaky One, received 44.5% of all votes cast, and left the House in a flood of tears, forced wilfully from his ducts especially for gullible offerers of TV deals.

Before the Irish homosexual left the House, he indulged in a spot of 'pink rumpy-pumpy' with fellow queer Gerry, who is from, and likes to apply, Greece. The two fairies disgusted TV viewers with their antics, before the sore Paddy emerged on the gantry to be interviewed by show host Davina McCall.

O'Kane wept openly as he told Davina how, although he couldn't understand a word she said, he hoped Welsh Laura would win, and how he was proud of his achievement in being one half of the first pair of 'trowellers' to perform buggery on the Big Brother show.

McCall warned him that his stupid perm and gawkish vacant stare might get him recognised everywhere he went in the future - especially in Ireland where people don't usually take too kindly to 'mud shovelling', and where knee-capping is rife.

Seany, the House prankster, will now go back to his sad life outside of Big Brother, and fade once again into obscurity where he doubtless belongs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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