Written by Buck E Filbert
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Topics: Paris Hilton

Friday, 22 June 2007

image for Paris Hilton Wants to Stay in Jail
Paris looks different inside the joint

Inmates at the Lynwood Correctional Facility are saying Paris Hilton is comfortable where she is and has no desire to return to the mean streets of Beverly Hills and Manhattan. Hilton has requested her lawyer file a reverse appeal to keep her incarcerated indefinably.

"Paris, has come to appreciate our little community, she's just another inmate doing her time. There's no confusion in your day here. No major decisions to be made. You don't have to worry about your hair, nails or looks in general. There's no paparazzi or press to stress on. It's the polar opposite of her life on the outside." said one administrator

Paris fans and haters were equally shocked to hear Paris was trying to stay in jail instead of going free like any normal prisoner would. Insiders say, "Paris feels safe in jail, she doesn't worry about things like if she's already worn that dress or not, she's grown very fond of the color orange, it seems to complement her complexion quite nicely, before you would not have caught her dead wearing orange."

As far as diet goes, Paris has really come to love the mystery meat sandwiches with the x-tra thick cheese. She really looks forward to Thursdays when they serve meatloaf and mashed potatoes with two slices with really thick butter.

Paris has $100.000 on her books so she can purchase candy bars and writing paper by the gross, that's enough to keep most prisoners happy.

From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
06.21.07

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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