Written by Fernickus Bronst
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Wednesday, 20 June 2007

image for Paris Hilton Endorses Ron Paul
Paris Hilton

Lynwood, CA. In a surprisingly candid interview with MSNBC's Matt Lauer, Paris Hilton today announced her endorsement of Ron Paul's (R-TX) candidacy. Speaking from a jail pay phone to Lauer, who was in New York City, Hilton explained she was in a "serious period" of her life and had studied the candidates during recreational time spent in the jail library.

Hilton announced: "I promised I would 'pay attention to everything' when that guy in the robe at the courthouse was so mad at me. And I've had a lot of time to search the web since I've been here. I was just so impressed that the man was almost as popular as me, and I was like 'who is this guy?'.

Paris' Hollywood Hills neighborhood was full of Ron Paul yard signs about an hour after the interview aired.

Paris continued her praise of Paul, saying: "He won all of the debates. He's just so popular! I'm a Ron Paul junkie now."

Jail has been a rough ride for Paris. She admits was a little bored at first and didn't get along with the other inmates. But after she introduced them all to Ron Paul, Paris says she's become something of a hit. "There are a few girls in here for first time drug offenses and they also want to vote for Ron Paul now because he's like against the war on drugs and stuff. At first, they didn't like me but after I started showing them Ron Paul videos on Youtube, they got all excited! Ron Paul helped me become popular even in Jail."

When asked on her feelings for Hillary Clinton, Hilton replied: "Ewww. Like, no way! Do you know that people on the net call her 'Hitlery'? She is SO 5 minutes ago. Besides, "Ron Paul would pwn her in the election or something."

As to what she planned on doing once she was released, Paris gave a rundown, "First thing, a double double with grilled onions, fries and a chocolate shake. Then I'm going to the Ron Paul meetup in Beverly Hills. I think my dad's gonna be pissed 'cause he's a big Mike Gravel fan. But he really needs to be for Ron Paul."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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