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Tuesday, 19 June 2007

image for Rosie O'Donnel Eats Three Silverback Gorillas
A male silverback gorilla named "Pongo" awaits consumption by the ravenous O'Donnel

Hollywood, CA - Television star and and opinionated uber-lesbian Rosie O'Donnel wowed fans as she greedily consumed three male silverback gorillas to protest something or another, though no one could figure out exactly what through the hail of blood and fur streaming from her mouth as the celebrity ate.

"Mmph, (glorp), good!" Exclaimed O'Donnell as she began on the second unfortunate primate, named Pongo. The star managed to eat all three gorillas in under half an hour, astonishing the record crowd gathered to watch the publicity stunt.

"This is the craziest thing I've ever seen," said bystander Rex R. Colon, "She's so brave! And manly, too!"

A counter-protest was held by PETA, the People for the Eating of Tuberculitic Antelopes, who felt that Rosie should have instead been eating consumptive four-legged herbivores rather than two-legged healthy ones. Counter- Protester Harry Knobbs said, "This is so unfair!" as he wiped the gorilla blood and hair from his Eat Sick Antelopes T-Shirt.

As she bolted down the third gorilla in a single massive swallow, the crowd exploded with applause, and even the gathered PETA supporters were heard to cheer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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