Written by THE MUSIC MAN
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Wednesday, 13 June 2007

image for Rosie Sheds A Few
8.41 Tons

(MUSICMAN PRESS) Television super star Ronnie O'Donnell (formerly Rosie O'Donnell) has reportedly lost 500 pounds, or .25 tons. According to Dr. Rick Head, O'Donnell checked into his office around 3:40 AM Wednesday morning.

"She, uh, he looked pitiful, absolutely starved! Ronnie told me he hadn't eaten in three whole hours. Of course, we put her on an I.V. Ronnie said the new 'Sudden Male' medication had made her too ill to eat even a Little Debbie cake. His all-time favorite."

We received information from Dr. Rick Head's secretary concerning O'Donnell's weight. She even presented us with the photo of Dr. Head's scale when O'Donnell stepped on it. This photo is shown here to the side. Please note this scale measures in tons.

-THE MUSICMAN-

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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