Written by Larry Allenel
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Wednesday, 13 June 2007

image for Paris Hilton's Prison Sweat to be Sold on e-Bay
A handler uses gloves to avoid contamination while transfering Paris Hilton's prison sweat into vials for sale on eBay

A civilian contractor at the Los Angeles County Jail has collected several vials of tainted socialite Paris Hilton's perspiration, and intends to auction them online. The sweat was allegedly gathered from garments worn by Hilton and later picked up by the jail's privately contracted laundry service.

The laundry service employee, with assistance from jailhouse janitorial personnel, kept Hilton's dirty clothes separate from the rest of the laundry and removed the sweat using an industrial moisture extraction device.

"Although she's not doing hard labor, it's undeniably hot in her private cell," the unnamed source explained. "Paris is sweating things out, literally, and we've managed to gather up almost a pint of the stuff to prove it!"

Hilton's sweat is expected to fetch up to $10,000 per ounce on eBay, and bidding could be driven even higher if the producers of the reality TV show "The Fear Factor" engage in a bidding war with other prospective buyers, as anticipated.

The show's producers have claimed that they want to acquire as much of the sweat as possible, and force their contestants to drink it as a final rite of passage in the popular televised gross-out contest. So far, all of the contestants have insisted that drinking Paris Hilton's sweat is the one thing they wouldn't do, for any amount of fame or fortune.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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