Written by Buck E Filbert
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Monday, 11 June 2007

image for Howard Stern offers Rosie O'Donnell Artie Lange's Coveted Position
Lesbians and controversery in the same package

Shock waves rippled through the Howard Stern community today as the much-anticipated announcement was made in regards to the replacement for Artie Lange.

Comedian, Artie Lange told Howard Stern and all the Sirius radio subscribers two weeks ago he was going to be stepping down from his position as one of the fab five. The fab five, as fans call them, are the core principle players on The Howard Stern Show.

The chair Artie is giving up is arguably the most coveted slot in comedy, Stern fans across the globe have been speculating with great anticipation as to just who the replacement might be. Some names that have been thrown around are, Jackie Martling, who originally had the spot, to Andy Dick.

Although Artie claims to be stepping down for health reasons, fan speculation is that Artie is just sick of being called, the fat guy, every day he goes to work.

Surprisingly, Howard mentioned his front runner for the job, he stunned everyone by saying it was none other than Rosie O'Donnell, big, fat, disgusting, pumpkin headed, opinionated, butch lesbian, comedian.

When asked by the press about this left field choice, Stern said, "Hey, Rosie really mixed it up on the View, she caused controversy on a daily basis and I'm a big fan of controversy. Controversy brings listeners. Much of my career has been based on lesbians and controversy, Rosie is a double wammy"

Howard's second choice? Don Imus, for his out there, wacky, irreverence.

Stern fans are mortified by the choice, Eric the Midget, a wack packer and regular on the show said, Rosie should do fine, I like her.

Donald Trump, a frequent guest on the show said, "I'll give her less than a year, can you imagine having to kiss that mug? She's fat and disgusting and is a really bad person. I know for a fact Howard really hates her and wants to fire her, even though she's not officially hired yet. Heck I'll fire her for him, you're FIRED!"

From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
6/10/07

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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