Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Paris Hilton

Saturday, 9 June 2007

image for Paris Hilton strip searched, fails drug test
A suspicious substance was found inside Hilton's tampon

California - (Ass Mess): Hours after being brought back to jail on Judge Sauer's orders petulant socialite Paris Hilton has failed a mandatory drug test after a standard strip search made prison officers suspicious about her toxicity.

Sources close to the jail's medical wing said doctors conducted a detailed internal examination and removed 'a suspicious package' hidden inside a tampon. This has now been sent to the LAPD toxicology lab for analysis.

Hilton's blood and urine samples tested positive for alcohol and an unconfirmed substance rumored to be cocaine.

Hilton returned to jail on Friday manacled and hysterical after failing to pull off a poor sick dumb blonde scam to see out her remaining custodial sentence in the palatial surroundings of her Beverly Hills home.

Her 45 day sentence could now be extended indefinitely if toxicology analysis shows she attempted to smuggle narcotics into jail.

"Just how dumb can you get?" was the only comment her publicist was able to make to the press today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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