Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 8 June 2007

image for Big Brother Brings In George Galloway As Mediator
George'll sort 'em out

George Galloway, the ex-Celebrity Big Brother housemate, is set to make a return to the house tonight in the role of 'mediator' as the competition really gets under way.

Galloway is seen as the ideal solution to the problems developing in the BB house between the selection of childlike morons who have given up three months of their lives so that the public can watch their every move.

Most recently, Emily Parr, the braindead BNP candidate for Bristol St Pauls, was expelled on Thursday for using a racially offensive word. Other housemates have crossed swords over cleaning up, not flushing the toilet and speaking out of turn, and Galloway's vast experience of such conflicts in the past, will, no doubt, prove invaluable.

Galloway has already been involved in delicate situations such as meeting the late Saddam Hussein, who was hung by the neck soon after, and Michael Barrymore, who probably should be.

Channel 4 haven't yet released the names of the two new housemates that will enter the fray tonight, saying only that one of them is teetotal, and the other smokes large cigars, has met a world tyrant and was patted on the head by him.

Mr. Galloway is the Respect Party MP, and it's thought he might command some respect from the other housemates, particularly Charley who is a 'nutter' and needs knocking down a peg or two.

'Gorgeous George', as he is sometimes referred to in dodgy bars, is married to ex-Nightmares In Wax and Dead Or Alive singer Pete Burns. He said:

"I'm not keen on 'nutters'."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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