Washington - In a speech triumphed by many Vietnam veterans, Sen. John McCain (R) described the recent events surrounding celebrity Paris Hilton as a "travesty."
"A model to the youth should not set examples such as this," McCain thundered, his face growing redder and redder. "When I was in the Hanoi Hilton I remained completely silent for 8 years. This Paris Hilton --- giving up without a fight? For the life of me I don't understand. Never surrender, Paris!"
McCain then left the Capitol in an escorted Hummer and was promptly arrested for driving under the influence of painkillers.
Polls after the speech indicated no change in his Presidential bid rating.