The Superbowl halftime show, produced by MTV, promised some surprises, and boy did it deliver. At the end of a performance by pop icons Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson, Timberlake ripped off the cup covering Jackson's right breast, to reveal Jackson's freaky-deaky metal nipple. The unintentional prime time airing of full frontal nudity stunned viewers, and the switchboard at CBS lit up for hours. However, the most shocking element of the nip slip, Jackson's weirdo metal nipple, went unnoticed until someone zoomed in for a close up.
"I might as well confess," remarked Jackson in a televised press conference she held to apologize for the incident and to explain her bizzarro nipple, "I am a cyborg. I lost my real right nipple in a horrible yak herding accident in the Swiss Alps back in 1996, and doctors had to rebuild it. I was in really bad shape after that accident and completely incoherent. The only thing I remember is as they were covering my mouth and nose with the gas mask to put me out, I distinctly heard someone say, ?We can rebuild it. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first Bionic nipple. Janet Jackson's right boob will bear that nipple. Better than it was before. Bigger . . . stronger . . . shinier.' I was a bit taken aback when I first saw it, and again a few weeks later when I got the doctor's bill for six million dollars, but when I realized what this puppy could do, I figured it was money well spent.
"My nipple is now the strongest nipple on the planet. I can knock down a line of midgets from 100 yards away with its super milk squirting strength. Men and women of earth should fear my nipple. There are few limits to what my nipple can now do. I no longer have to pay for satellite television, I can just point my nipple to the southwest and I get 180 channels. The only drawback is when I become aroused, my nipple gets hard and then look out?I almost put a guy's eye out once."
Shortly after seeing this nip slip on live TV, men from around the globe could not be reached for comment as they were all in the bathroom, however we were assured they would be out ?in a minute'.