Written by Cal Jennings
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Friday, 1 June 2007

image for It Was 40 Years Ago Today
Paul McCartney is Lonely and Single On This 40th Anniversary of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - London - "It was 20 years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play," goes the old Beatle song, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, but the song was about 20 years off. It looks like Paul is lonely again, and his soon ex-to-be ran to his side to comfort him.

This is the 40th anniversary of the album entitled "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." This album is an icon of the 70s when we were in a civil war on foreign soil for the profit of corporations, unlike our much progressed nation today. People dressed strangely, wore their hair differently, and carried around peace symbols, fish symbols, ecology symbols, and just about everything else they could get their hands on back then.

Unlike today, there was "sexual liberation," and everyone was doing it with everybody, but there weren't diseases like herpes, AIDS, and God knows what else that is going around today. Today, people have to use protection. I know that kids today don't want the feel of nasty rubber on their privates, so today's kids completely abstain from sex just like President George Bush told them to. Yeah, that works!

Reporter Cal Jennings interviewed McCartney today,


Cal: "Sir McCartney, how are you feeling on this 40th Anniversary of your famous album?"

Paul: "A bit lonely, actually. I was thinking of trying a dating site to find me a new partner."

Cal: "The 'Internets' you mean?"

Paul: "Uh, yeah, the 'Internets,' hehe, but I can't say anything bad about Georgie. I have to play at his wedding with Elton."

Cal: "You mean you are actually going to play for Bush and Blair?"

Paul: "Yeah, I have to do it since I had the divorce or I might drop down to being the second richest rock star."

Cal: "It must be tough."

Paul: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. I have an image to maintain."


Paul isn't the only one lonely on this 40th anniversary of the album. There are thousands, maybe millions of Beatle fans flocking to dating sights these days. Who knows, girls? Maybe one of you will get lucky and snag the lonely billionaire on-line. It could happen, right? Yeah, right.

Make Cal Jennings's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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