Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 26 May 2007

image for Sweden pulls out of Ms Universe contest after topless decision
'The digital probe really sux,' said a contestants' spokeswoman

Mexico City - (Ass Mess): Sweden has pulled out of Monday's Miss Universe competition after strict new guidelines in the pageant's topless category banned surgiaclly-enhanced contestants.

Twenty year old Miss Sweden Isabel Lestapier Winqvist was said to be furious after failing the contest's compulsory MRI scanner which now detects all manner of breast implants from silicon to liquid gel.

And now other entrants in the prestigeous competition are complaining about the impostition of additional rigorous manual examinations allegedly vital to double check for potential computer falibility which are personally conducted by the pageant's owner Donald Trump.

"It's bad enough that the electronic scan takes 45 minutes under partial sedation," the show's Ms Jamaica said.

"But what's even worse is the digital probe of face, breasts, hips, buttocks, thighs plus nooks and crannies that can take up to two hours and five vodka martinis before results are adjudicated authentic!"

The organisers have consulted their attorneys after the show's insurance company upped their premium against a mass-walkout on the day of the pageant following a rebellion in the beauties' ranks.

"If they suddenly down tools while we're live on air all hell could break loose," the show's PR said today.

"We can't take any more chances."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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