Written by Warren Redlich
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Saturday, 26 May 2007

image for Paris Hilton Moved to Halfway House: Holiday Inn
Paris Hilton moving to a nicer bed.

Paris Hilton will be moved shortly from her cell in the Los Angeles Regional Detention Center to a halfway house.

The celebrity is reportedly depressed over her next stop, mainly because it is within a Holiday Inn, a chain owned not by Hilton Hotels Corporation but instead by the InterContinental Hotels Group. The halfway house provides various forms of treatment for inmates, and Paris is expected to participate in a special program called "Get Your Head Out Of Your Ass."

In a text message that was leaked by an unnamed friend of Ms. Hilton, she complained about the thread count of the sheets, saying: "snh!! mt as well stay hr. grds r cute, & dnt bck dr." Her mood turned a bit positive as she made a little joke out of it: "bt ill be smrtr - wll hv stayed at hldy inn once"

It is expected that she will complete her DWI sentence by the end of June, although she will still be on probation until the end of the year. The Los Angeles Sheriff's Department had no comment beyond: "Paris Hilton is currently an inmate in our facilities, and she will remain until her sentence is complete."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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