Written by Blind Fool -••-
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Topics: Los Angeles

Thursday, 29 January 2004

LOS ANGELES, CA-The stars were out last night as the LA Chamber of Commerce celebrated the career of it's most well known and over worked photographer Mr. Maximilian Albrecht III.

At a downtown gallery, Max, as he prefers to be called, was honored by celebrities, city officials, and tabloid publishers for his work in the glamorous world of mug shot photography.

His images were proudly displayed on the pristine white walls of the studio which provided a stark contrast that he loves and is known for.

Mr. Albrecht learned his 'Sturm und Drang' technique of harsh lighting and straight-on poses from his grandfather Maximilian Albrecht Sr., a war criminal, who was the Nazi death camp photographer during WWII.

Max lived a hard life on the lamb throughout Europe after the war taking photos of hookers and rats before coming to America alone in the 60s after his elder mentor died of syphilis. He's unaware of his parents' whereabouts, but thinks they may be involved in vehicle crash test photography.

Max is not only known for winning awards such as the Charles Pratt Memorial Award, the Arle Rencontres Prize and the Leopold Godowsky Jr. Color Photography Award to name a few, he's also known to be a modern-day fashion trend setter.

His work is credited for starting the 'mussed-up' hair style that is now all the rage throughout celebridom. Another little known fact is that he's also to blame for the sloppy unkempt clothes look that started in the 90s and is still popular today.

To Max's joyous surprise guest celebrities arrived at the party, which featured Atkins friendly refreshments, decked out as arrestees. They showed up in robes, no makeup and drunk.

Some of the notables showing up for the event were Britney Spears, Christine Aguilera, and Haley Joel Osment. Max immediately retrieved his camera and took some pictures. He was quoted as saying, "I'm going to have to take their mug shot some day, so I might as well do it now so that I don't have to get out of bed at three in the morning."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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