Madonna hopes to earn her weight in CFCs this week on the launch of her new song 'Oi You!' which is aimed at combatting global climate change.
Penned with recording artist Freddy Parrot-Faced Williams, the pair hope the ditty will earn them a fortune in royalties which they have already pledged to spend on fair-trade wine, an environmentally friendly Ferrari (the smaller 3 litre version) and as much opium as possible 'to help the struggling Poppy farmers of Afghanistan'.
The pair hope to perform the song at Wombley Stadium, England some time this year although a date has yet to be confirmed.
'It could be November, it could be January' said the superstar, 'it all depends on what the weather's like. We don't want a wet weekend and the weather is so bloody unpredicatble these days. So long as it's nice and hot, anytime this winter will do'.
Madonna is 78.