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Monday, 14 May 2007

image for Nudist Find Members Aging, Recruiting Sagging
Leave all your clothes behind and enjoy the scenery at America's Nudist Resorts

A large, American nudist organization is desparate for new blood and more members. The American Association for Naked Recreation is growing older, with a median age of 55, and needs to recruit a younger membership before the organization dies out.

"Our membership numbers, and our bodies, are sagging," says Albuquerque chapter president Horace Dribble. "If we don't get some newer, younger people interested in the liberation that comes without clothes, pretty soon the only people without panties will be Paris Hilton and Britney Spears."

"We thought maybe we had Madonna interested in joining a few years ago, but she was a skank at heart and not a nudist."

"I think that part of our problem is our current membership. You go to one of our recreational sites and see everyone having fun. The problem is, the ones having fun are all fat and gray. The women have breasts below their bellies. The men are all old and shriveled up. How attractive is this?"

"When you've got young bucks strutting around with their perky girlfriends, it lights a fire in the recruits. They want to be here."

"Maybe we just need to hire half a dozen male strippers and hooters girls ro run around naked at each of our facilities for Memorial Day weekend. If we do, membership, and a lot of other things, will swell before the 4th of July!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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