Written by Cal Jennings
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Friday, 11 May 2007

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Gmail angry at TheSpoof.com for Edging Them Out

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - "The Internets" - In an article by Pete Cashmore, it was revealed that the stats show that Gmail users are younger, richer, and better in bed.

Pete Cashmore wrote,

    "The good news, if you're a Gmail user, is that you may be part of the elite: while Yahoo and Hotmail users are decidedly average, Gmail users tend to be young, have a high income, and be early adopters of technology. 54% of users are between 18 and 34, while 18% have an average annual household income between $100,000 and $149,999 (compared to 15% for Hotmail and 13% for Yahoo Mail). Another stat, probably related to the young age of GMail users: they're more likely to be Facebook users than those on the other services."

Since the elite are President George W. Bush's "base," all single Republican women are being urged to date only Gmail users. President Bush intends to make it mandatory after he cancels the 2008 elections and announces his dictatorship with Tony Blair by his side. President Bush intends to have Tony Blair draw up the documents since the president can't read or write.

"Heh, heh," said Bush, "I ain't just gettin' a gay sex lover when I marry Blair. I'm also gettin' a secretary."

To date, the only users better than Gmail users are TheSpoof.com readers and writers. TheSpoof.com was purposely left out of the polls because they didn't want to make everyone else feel bad. TheSpoof.com Editor was listed as number 1, TheSpoof.com writers were listed at number 2, and TheSpoof.com readers were listed at number 3, followed by the Gmail users and the rest of the population.

"TheSpoof.com writers probably scored so high because of the enormous salaries we writers of The Spoof get paid," said CalJennings, "plus, we ARE better in bed."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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