Written by Warren Redlich
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Thursday, 10 May 2007

image for Former Japanese Prime Minister Stars in Porn Film
Koizumi prepares for a scene

Vivid Entertainment today announced that Junichiro Koizumi will be starring in its upcoming reality porn film, "I Rub You." Koizumi, who was widely reported to be quite the womanizer during his days in politics, will carry out a similar role in the movie.

Koizumi's character, Heavy Toyota, enrolls in various English Conversation schools across Japan. In each, he seduces attractive foreign teachers and persuades them to engage in a variety of unspeakable acts.

Apparently the former PM's charisma and likeness to Elvis is so powerful that the teachers did not mind the cameras filming them while they pleased the old man. The kicker in most cases was his Japanized pronunciation of the English phrase "I love you", mangled into the title of the film, "I Rub You."

Vivid's spokesman had no comment on the rumors that Bill Clinton would be starring in the sequel.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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