Written by matthatt
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Topics: Paris Hilton

Tuesday, 8 May 2007

image for Paris Hilton to host "Cell Make-Over" show!
Minty Buff or the Lemon Sunrise?

LA, USA, ABC network officials have admitted that there is a show in the pipeline for the Hilton trollop to record whilst doing stir.

"We are in the final stages of negotiations with the Prison Governor who has agreed in principle to what we are trying to achieve" Said an executive at ABC, "We had a few wrinkles to iron out, like who would do the filming etc.

"Fortunately there are a few camera women already in that particular penitentiary, who, we will hire for the duration of the charming Miss Hilton's stay"

According to our sources, the rest of the all female film crew will be committing some minor misdemeanours over the next week, just so they will get banged up with the leggy knickerless slapper at the same time.

Ms Hilton is unhappy about her "on/off" friend Nicole Ritchie, who has apparently refused to join in and will not be with Paris on the inside "Fcuk that shit!" the always eloquent Miss Ritchie stated. "I isn't doing no prison time for dat biatch, and anyway, my agent said I shouldn't hang out with fat people any mo'!"

Janice (Knuckle Cruncher) McKinney has jumped at the chance to have her cell made over. "I have been here for 18 years, staring at a grey wall" said the cauliflower eared six footer cheerily "If they don't change it soon, I swear I'm gonna eat someone's fingers again"

Unfortunately, due to prison rules, the d├ęcor du jour, will be limited to paint and fabrics as laid out in The State Penitentiary Decorating Guidelines and Conditions circa 1982.

These colours being:

    "of such a manner as to not incite aggressive behaviour"

and

    "to be such that they bring a calm and restorative effect upon the demeanour of the individual undergoing penal servitude and by turn encourage a reflective/pensive state that engenders the ability to return to society as a productive, tax paying member"

Good Luck Paris!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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