Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Monday, 7 May 2007

image for Britney Fan Files Lawsuit for Eye Candy Injury at House of Blues Concert
Warning: If this M&M tour photo appears out of focus to you, consult your physican immediately. You maybe one effected.

Los Angeles, California - Jebb Smith was one of Britney's biggest fans until last week when at a Britney concert at The House of Blues he suddenly went blind from all the eye candy Britney was flashing on stage.

"I was standing the front row watching Briney, just like everybody else and before you knew it - BAM! I couldn't see a thing anymore," said Smith, a 42-year-old bachelor.

Other fans at the concert claim to have witnessed the bazaar incident. "It must have happened right around the simulated sex act part of the show because that was pretty hot," said an eyewitness.

Lawyers for Smith estimate he went blind right in the middle of the show, judging from the eyewitness accounts that it occurred at the end of her simulated sex act.

"But its really difficult to tell," they cautioned. "It's merely an estimate at this point because simulated sex is in mostly all of Britney's songs, videos and concert sets."

They conclude, therefore, the timeline of when it happened may not really matter so much as it could have occurred anytime she's performing in public, or even getting in or out of a car.

Reportedly, Smith did not seek immediate medical treatment for his condition until after the concert was over, which may have permanently damaged his sight and hurt his chances of a full recovery.

A few people dialed 911 on their cell phones, but when paramedics arrived Smith refused to leave, insisting that one of EMT's [emergency medical technician] describe to him the rest of Britney's show instead.

"The two of them were just standing there," said a concertgoer. "The EMT yelling into that blind guy's ear, describing to him who Britney was doing on stage. I guess the EMT felt really sorry for the guy suddenly going blind like that."

Award damages sought were not specified in the Court documents.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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