Written by Rodd Justice
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Topics: Afghanistan, Satan

Saturday, 24 January 2004

image for I'm a Celebrity…Death to the Great Satan!
"My name's Jamie. Do you like me?"

Contestants for the new series of the hit ITV show ‘I'm a Celebrity…Death to the Great Satan!" have met each other for the first time in a cave in Afghanistan.

The show features 10 C-list celebrities undertaking tasks that would be considered ‘everyday' by your typical member of Al-Quaeda, but a world away from the lifestyle of fame, fortune and paparazzi-chasing that the celebs are used to.

The contestants undergo a series of challenges known as ‘Mujuhadeen Trials', such as aircraft terrorism, suicide bombing, biological agent proliferation and the dreaded propaganda campaigning. The Trials were particularly popular with viewers last series - John Fashanu became famous for doing 1,000 sit ups then gassing 1,000 infidels by releasing sarin into a crowded subway.

The show, presented by Yasser and Saddam, was one of ITV's most popular shows last year, and raised millions by phone voting, drug trafficking and kidnappings of wealthy viewers.

Telly pundit Victor Lewis-Smith described it as "great, edgy television, like that ‘TV Offal' show I did a while back."

This year's contestants include Kris Akabusi, Wolf, Phillipa Forrester and Jamie Theakston, who said "I hope this show will boost my career. I don't want to be known as ‘John Leslie Lite' for the rest of my life."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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