Written by dalepetrie
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Friday, 23 January 2004

image for Michael Jackson Buys Another Baby
Look what I just bought!

In a defiant move, Michael Jackson decided to celebrate what he calls his ‘impending acquittal' on child molestation charges, by purchasing another white baby boy. Jackson revealed his new purchase by pulling the sheathed baby out of his trench coat in front of a throng of reporters and fans outside the Santa Maria Courthouse where his trial is getting underway. Reporters then followed Jackson's SUV, once almost losing sight of Jackson amongst a group of similar looking SUVs. Fortunately, one sharp-eyed reporter was able to discern which SUV belonged to Jackson by the footprints on the hood. After a 15-minute low speed chase, Jackson stopped his SUV at local bridge where he tethered the baby to the bridge by strapping bungee cords around his ankles, and sent the 3 month old over the edge for his first thrill ride, catching him on the upswing.

Jackson explained that he would have just taken the infant on a carnival ride at his Neverland Ranch, but he has vowed never to set foot on that estate again, and is selling it to the highest bidder via an ad in the NAMBLA Times (Click Here To See Ad). Jackson told reporters that the baby's siblings, Prince Michael, Paris Michael and Blanket, were thrilled to have new baby brother Slipcover at home. Jackson would not reveal from whom he purchased this baby, but he assured reporters that he and the mother reached an agreement wherein he would purchase her half of the rights to the baby. According to Jackson, the baby was the result of some really hot, not at all gay sex, between himself and a real, not imaginary, black, not white, adult, not child woman. When asked why the baby appeared to be white, Jackson explained that Slipcover was an albino just like his other 3 children.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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