Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 1 May 2007

image for Bruce Willis vows to Go Commando in bare ass Lohan/Hilton/Spears jealousy bid
Willis to take on the bare-ass bimbos

Hollywood - (Ass Mess): Official: Pantyless party girls have got right up Bruce Willis's nose. But the Die Hard star is fighting back and vowing to Go Commando to redeem those PR ratings that he says he's been robbed of by 'foxy little clit-flashers' still in their twenties.

In a scathing interview with Vanity Unfair magazine Willis has slammed the pudenda-exposing Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears for grabbing headlines that he feels he naturally deserves.

"No one's writing about guys my age much anymore, unless of course I do something naughty like expose myself in a shopping mall or something," the actor complains.

"I still got what it takes, I'm one handsome beast, and no woman's ever gone wanting after a night with me!"

Maybe that's why ex-wife of 13 years Demi-Sec Moore and her toy-boy-aged husband Ashton Kutcher keep coming back to Willis's Parrot Cay villa for those oh-so-friendly threesome holidays with old Brucie.

"Demi? Her ass still looks a helluva lot better than those peroxide bimbos Lohan and Hilton, even though she's nearly twice their age. Trust me. I know."

Ashton Kutcher is 29.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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