Written by Blind Fool -••-
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Topics: satire, Fake

Friday, 23 January 2004

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The Culprit—Sad, really.

The cultural phenomenon knows as Satire News has exploded onto the world scene. Its popularity is growing by leaps and bounds.

This popularity, however, has a sinister dark side. News search engines pick up these fake spoof articles and readers are unwarily suckered into believing that they are true when they are not.

Many satire sites rate the stories on how many "hits" (views) they get. The more hits received, the higher a story climbs the "hot story" list.

The writers have picked up on this and are now including as many popular terms as possible hoping the news search engines will list them, thus earning the story that many more hits.

And it's working; there are as many spoofs out there as real news articles and this is wreaking havoc with the news industry, the military, movie stars, as well as society in general.

One such write for TheSpoof.com, however, has gone completely overboard with this technique. He wrote one article that was a blatant cheap attempt to just earn hit points and get back on top of the writers list.

His pseudonym is Blind Fool, but he has been identified as a french loser whose actual name is Faux Frei Lancer. He wrote an article so bad that the Lowton Brothers, upkeepers of the satire site, had him arrested.

"That's a fake story if I ever saw one. We have higher standards than that around here," said Paul Lowton. "It's a load of rubbish and poppycock. I hate that flesh-bag of chemicals [referring to Blind Fool]!"

Paul Lowton was heard saying, "Bloody awful, really. Could you pass me the tea and crumpets?"

Mr. Fool was dragged away kicking and screaming and shouting and crying something about losing the top spot, losing his identity in the world, his dog leaving him, and doing whatever it took to get back on top, even if it meant pimping himself out to the search engines.

Blind Fool has lost all sense direction and control ever since his fifteen minutes of fame were up. He has been given a nice new jacket with plenty of buckles, a nice padded room, and three squares a day.

The original article, whose title is even misleading, has since been removed from TheSpoof.com by the Lowtons, but reprinted here with permission. You be the judge as to whether it's a real spoof article or just a petty attempt to get back on top:

This Is A Shocking Real News Story

George W. Bush, Richard Dick Cheney, War on Terror, Iraq, Afghanistan, Saddam Hussein, oil, Halliburton, tax cuts, spending, Republicans, Democrats, debate, Howard Dean, John F Kerry, scream, David Letterman, Joe Namath, Whitney Houston, Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, Mars, NASA, rover, Spirit, Beagle, lost contact, United States of America, American Idol, Simon, Donald Trump The Apprentice, The Bachelorette, Meredith, Extreme Makeover, Keanu Reeves Vision, New York, Los Angelas, Houston, Super Bowl, Superbowl, Patriots, Tom Brady, Carolina Panthers, John Zogby poll polls, Star Wars, George Lucas, Matrix, Elvis Presley, Sex and the City, Friends, Jennifer Aniston, final show, Al Franken, Talk Radio, NPR, Tony Blair, the Patriot Act, John Ashcroft, Rush Limbaugh, Average Joe, Cuba intelligence, military, CIA, FBI, terrorist, terrorists, attack, senate, congress, N.H. New Hampshire, election, vote, Ariel Sharon, Yasser Arafat, peace, Hezbollah in Lebanon, Pentagon, pipeline, Alaska, John Edwards, senior citizens, social security benefits, who, World Health Organization, the UN, U.N., Michael Jackson, Drudge, satire news, football, GOP, economy, exorcism, naked, nude, the vatican, the Pope, The Passion, Mel Gibson, movie, lesbian, gay, homosexual, campaign, internet, 911, 9/11, Sept. 11, probe, leak, report, risk, bio-engineered drugs, Pamela Anderson, religion, Christian, Muslim, Islam, Israel, Palestinian, Palestine, Jordon, wall, Jew, Jewish, helicopter crash, chopper, troops, dead, death, explosion, bomb, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, prosecutors, Scott Peterson, trial, judge, laci peterson, murder, fetus, abortion, Roe vs Wade, Roe v. Wade, hearing, landmark decision, cancer, Martha Stewart, ImClone, Enron, Fastow, Golden Globe Award, Oscar, Bennifer, airline, Gov't, passenger, security, Janklow, porn, pornography, internet, USO, campagn finance, feminist, missile, land mine, Iowa, tax cuts, Al Sharpton, China, communist, capitalist, capitalism, freedom, liberty, democracy, Rebublic, dictator, social, socialism, France ban, Brazil, Mexico, borders, illegals, illegal immigrants, school choice, Washington D.C., White House, Capitol Hill, march, marchers, protest, rally, UNESCO, House Panel, Schiavo case, Britney Spears, Kobe Bryant, Viagra, Bill Gates, Microsoft, Academy Awards, computer virus, Princess Diana, Princess Di, Prince Charles, accident, wreck, conspiracy, crash, invest, incest, investor, investment, Saudi Arabia, Al-Haramain Islamic Foundation, violence, massacre, Shiite, jobless, employment, unemployment, million billion, electronic voting system, ACLU, database, privacy, music download, al Qaeda, Jane Fonda, clone, cloned, cloning, mad cow disease, Hitler, gun, handgun, yard gnome, Fox News, CNN, New York Times, NewsMax, ABC, NBC, CBS, and TheSpoof.com.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

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